Cooking In the 21st Century

That's right Timmy...

...food cooked with heating elements and microwaves just doesn't taste very good does it? That's because these things keep the electricity from bringing out the true wholesome goodness of your food. In the twenty-first century your kitchen stove will hook up directly to the utility company's high voltage lines. It will be incredibly dangerous, but that is the price we must pay for really tasty food!

At VoltNet.com's Destructo Labs we are working night and day to bring you this cutting edge cooking technology. Consequently we don't get a lot of sleep, and we have quite a lot of horrific accidents. Our technicians can often be seen staggering around our facility with large mugs of coffee in their hands. Still, there's nothing like accidentally coming into contact with a 50kV cooking terminal to wake you up!

Here a test subject tries out our experimental 40,000 Volt Super Cook -O-Matic prototype. We learned an important lesson during this test, namely that it's very a bad idea to use a metal spatula with an 40,000 volt stove (or any of our stoves for that matter). This subject was vaporized mere seconds after this photo was taken. It was rather spectacular and those in attendance applauded enthusiastically.

Here we see an advertisement for our Super Dual 35kV Cook-O-Matic Electro Range. This unit will feature dual kebab cookers as illustrated. This unit can vaporize...er....cook a 30lb ham in a mere 6 seconds! Great when you are entertaining a whole bunch of friends!

Hey, how would you like to see our newest 50,000 volt Electro Range prototype?