Questions & Comments from you the public!

Check out these swell recipes sent in to us by similarly deranged individuals...er....talented cooks worldwide!

>> Note: High-voltage electricity is extremely dangerous! Leave the actual cooking to our highly trained engineers! <<

3/3/03

For that surprise dinner party Crab or Lobster Thermadore/Mornay is a cinch using electricity. Delicatly coat the shellfish with the sauce of choice so that it retains a velvety texture finish with a sprinkle of golden croutons and perhaps a hint of paprika, apply 25-30kv for 1-2 seconds. A little extra care is needed if using Mornay Sauce due to the cheese content.
Added advantages are that unlike the traditional boiling method the shellfish feel no pain and it is far easier to sweep up the shrapnel uhm! I mean shell fragments than get your hands all 'fishy' peeling them off at the table.
Safety goggles recomended for this one.

Mmmmm....there is nothing quite like delicious exploding shellfish. This recipe sounds like a real winner! - The Destructo Labs team

1/13/03

I've recently been introduced to the wonder that is high-voltage culinary preparation. Quite frankly, I can no longer see how I ever lived without it!

I love Italian food--particularly pasta--but I've neither the time nor the patience for making it in the conventional manner. Lucky for me, I've discovered the convenience of flash-boiling my noodles. I don't even need to drain them!

Also, connecting a broiling cage to live high-voltage current can really bring out the flavor hiding in that all-beef patty. Burger King prides itself in flame-broiling its meat, but why stop there when you can have a char-broiled heap of carbon in a fraction of the time? This also works well for fish filets, chicken filets, and even steak!

Finally, you're probably just as tired of the lies as I am. You know what I'm talking about, too: instant soup that isn't. Instant doesn't mean in 3 minutes, for goodness's sake, it means NOW. All you need is a high-voltage oven, a catchpan, and a squeegee and you can have soup whenever you darn well feel like it.

Tony

Thanks for the comments Tony! We here at VoltNet.com's Destructo Labs also enjoy a nice hot cup of instant soup...or rather carbonized soup-sludge since that is all that is left after .58 seconds on one of the burners of a DL-5600 Electro Range. Scrape it off the bottom of the mug (if anyhting is left of the mug) and oh boy it sure hits the spot! -TheDestructo Labs team

I enjoy capacitive discharge cooking, I would hope you plan to have that mode available in the DL-1000. Put a seasoned pot roast between two metal plates connected to a 5 microfarad cap charged to 20 KV, with a triggered spark gap to control the discharge. Um boy, pump a kilojoule into that puppy in less than a millisecond. Can't get any faster than that. You do have to guard against inductive ringing to protect the spark gap. I might be available as a consultant if you want to include this in the DL-1000 design.

Mike

Don't worry Mike, our new line of ElectroRanges will certainly have a pulse discharge mode! Sure scraping potroast debris off your kitchen walls may seem like a nuisance to some, but we inderstand that when you want something cooked, you want it cooked NOW! -The Derstructo Labs team

Take a potato. Wrap it in about 4 layers of foil (so it conducts the electricity really well). Now, place it on a broiling plate, crank up the juice, and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! If you plan to look back, one safety precaution: DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE POTATO, AS DOING SO COULD CAUSE LONG-TERM RETINAL DAMAGE. Your smoked potatoes should be ready in 1-2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Enjoy!

LilBucky

Mmmm....smoked spuds. Sounds good to us! -The Derstructo Labs team

Hey I've got a great idea! On a crisp cold winter's eve, who doesn't like a delectable old fashioned baked apple! But who wants to wait the 45 - 60 minutes for it to cook? I'll just bet 15 KVA would fix that little problem! Just core the apple fill the core with brown sugar and cinnamon and get it right over to the nearest electrode for a warm (very warm) surprise!... just think of the carbonized er, carmelized sugar!

paul

Thanks for the recipe Paul! It sounds both tasty and nutritious. Add a sharpened stick and you have "Flaming Carbonized Caramel Apple On A Stick". The kids will love it. Just be careful that none of that molten, flaming sugar drips onto your hands! -The Derstructo Labs team

The next time you host a party where the excitement level seems to be heading south, liven it up by serving "Jello Jiggler Arc-Stream Surprise".

Plan for it ahead of time by pre-mixing some Jello and refrigerating it in the mold of your choice. Later, if the party gets a little too boring, remove your creation from the mold and place it on your DL-1000 Electro Range. Have everyone gather around in a circle while you insert the DL's high voltage electrodes on the left and rights sides of the Jello. Find someone to hide behind, then turn off the lights and turn on the juice!

About the time they all start to "ooh" and "aah" over the pretty colors in the arc-stream, the "surprise" part of the dessert will make itself evident. That rapidly expanding heated column of vaporizing gelatin will have nowhere to go but all over your guests. Ka-boom!! Surprise, the Jello Jigglers are ready!!

But that's not all. It's great for you, too. There are no dishes to clean, because your guests can just pick the pieces off each other and eat them with their hands. It's guaranteed to be a real ice-breaker for the shy ones, and a memorable party for all, thanks to the amazing possibilities of the DL-1000 Electro Range.

Did I say ice-breaker? Try it on that block of ice in your freezer. It's faster than an ice pick.

Bruce

Who doesn't love being doused with super-heated jello?? Interestingly enough, cooking with high-voltage quite often seems to involve dodging buring foodstuffs. -The Derstructo Labs team

I get a little impatient waiting for the one to two minutes that it takes for my microwave oven to "slowly" reheat my cold, stale morning coffee. How about attaching a portable, hand-held set of electrodes to the DL-1000 Electro Range that can reach from the kitchen to the dining room table? By submersing the unit into an old cup of java, I'll bet it can give "instant" life back to any brew, no matter how long it's been sitting around.

In addition, wouldn't it be a nice, quality-time experience having the entire family gather at the table to watch as the brownish, glowing, bubbly muck churns itself into delicious "Molten-Metallic Mocha"? It's sure to become everyone's favorite electrode-flavored coffee. Pass the cream and sugar, please.

Say, how about a great tasting "Chocolate-Cathode Shock-Shake" electro-formed right at the table? The kids will want to drink all of their milk and ask for more!

Bruce

Thanks for the suggestions Bruce! We too are frustrated at the time it takes to re-heat a week old pot of java. Here at Destructo Labs we keep our technicians working night and day, and quite frankly, without a constant infusion of "black gold" most of them would pass out! Sure having a bunch of wide-eyed caffeine junkies operating high-voltage equipment makes for a dangerous workplace, but hey, we've got to consider the bottom line.

Regarding your handheld electrode idea: We have experimented with something similar (see the bottom of this page). Unfortunatley we have lost several technicians while testing these units. There are still some bugs to work out. -The Derstructo Labs team

In an attempt to make a super fast hotdog Cooker for a backyard BBQ Party, I once took my 'home-made' Jacobs Ladder apart so I could Electrify the far ends of a dog to speed cook it. I Started simply with 7.5KV @ 300mA. Unfortunately, I don't think I had enough current to speed cook the hotdog. So naturally I lowered the Voltage to about 500V and upped the current to a potential of 70 Amps. I flipped the switch and... The hotdog Exploded. I still believe that with the right V/A balance, the Speedy ElectroDogger will be a hit. If you ever find this delicate V/A balance I would be interested to know what it is, and my BBQ guests would be appreciative I'm sure.

Ryan

Wow, that dog was pulling 35,000 watts! (Don't try that one yourselves kids!) We can just imagine your guest's delight upon being showered with flaming bits of hotdog. Your question about the ideal volt/ampere balance bears further research. We think that the impedance of the condiments used will be a significant factor. Now did you want mustard and relish on that hotdog? -The Derstructo Labs team

Ok heres my recipe idea called the electric pickle. You attach the hot lead to a screw and shove it in one end, and the neutral goes in the other end. Turn out the lights and plug it in. It glows and sizzles. The juicy ones work best.

Now with this theory in mind, lets substitute the 120 for your 15KV and the pickle for a watermellon.

Let me know what you think.

Jim

Great idea Jim! Bet an electric pickle would taste good on a Pastrami sandwich. The watermelon idea sounds tasty as well. Mmmm..imagine cutting open a watermelon to find it filled with juicy steaming pulp! -The Derstructo Labs team

We have all tried making Jacob's ladders with pieces of wire but they are hard to get with just a slight bend and no sharp bends, so why not use two frankfurters instead, plus use AC and they will both get a nice outer browning!

Also I have made toast with 12kv 30ma DC and it is fine, but a bit more current would not go astray, how much do you think is good for toast?

Thanks,

John

Interesting idea using frankfurters as electrodes. One of our scientists was recently doing some research on the web, when he came across a page with a similar idea.

Regarding your question about the best current level for toast: Here at Destructo Labs we feel that too much current is never enough, so put on that flame retardant safety suit and crank 'er up! -The Derstructo Labs team

How about some nice electro-scrambled eggs?
Or perhaps anode-side up?

Have you tried electrifying a coventional
cooking device such as an old waffle iron?

What is the dielectric constant of steak?

r

Excellent suggestions Ralph! The "anode-side up electro scrambled eggs" would no doubt be both tasty and nutritious.

We have not yet tried modifying devices such as waffle irons, although one of our divisions has been experimenting with items like hard drives and telephones. Regarding the dielectric constant of steak: It has long been our contention that certain foodstuffs might make excellent dielectric materials for use in things like high-voltage capacitors. Just imagine being alerted to a component failure by the delicious smell of roasting meat! -The Derstructo Labs team

Try putting a hotdog between the HV leads.
Stand behind a screen when you do this as it is messy! I especially liked the pulsed discharge pancakes.

Barry

Thanks for the suggestion Barry! We haven't yet tested the DL-1000 Electro Range with dogs & burgers, but we think the results could be quite spectacular. Particularly if condiments such as relish and mustard were applied prior to blasting...er...cooking that is. -The Derstructo Labs team

One of our technicians gets ready to incinerate...er...cook up something yummy!